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Warning [2] Undefined array key "google_seo_thread" - Line: 1127 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 1 - Line: 255 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 1079 google_seo_dynamic
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "parent" - Line: 446 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 1143 google_seo_url_create
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $location - Line: 1249 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "lockoutexpiry" - Line: 94 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 192 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "lockoutexpiry" - Line: 568 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $username - Line: 23 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $password - Line: 25 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $redirect_url - Line: 38 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $username - Line: 58 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $user - Line: 84 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 84 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $code - Line: 86 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $can_access_moderationqueue - Line: 744 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "avatartype" - Line: 884 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "avatartype" - Line: 884 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $unreadreports - Line: 38 - File: global.php(951) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $jumpsel - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined property: MyLanguage::$forumjump_select - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "mybb" - Line: 1997 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 488 - File: inc/db_mysqli.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined property: MyLanguage::$ratings_update_error - Line: 5 - File: showthread.php(772) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php 757 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 224 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php 757 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 609 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 56 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 9 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 317 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 772 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 75 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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#Login Register
The Joke Thread..........
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average


17-08-07, 08:09 PM #271
pirate SSDB Pirate *****
Status: Away Posts:1,269 Threads:14 Joined:Aug 2006 Reputation: 7
Trot Razz

If it aint Manc its wank!

17-08-07, 08:18 PM #272
the_marsbar SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,014 Threads:66 Joined:Mar 2007 Reputation: 16
Ah I seeVery Happy Haha. Thanks for clearing that upWink

31-08-07, 03:25 PM #273
streak now an admin.. apparently *******
Status: Offline Posts:8,433 Threads:182 Joined:Jan 2006 Reputation: 188
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, 'You know, I know everyone there
is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.'

Tired of his constant boasting, his boss called his bluff, 'OK, Dave,
how about Tom Cruise?'

'No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.





'So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's
door and Tom Cruise shouts, 'Dave! What's happening? Great to see you!






Come on in, have a beer! Although impressed, Dave's boss is still
sceptical.

After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him
knowing Cruise was just lucky.

'No, no, just name anyone else,' Dave says. 'President Bush,' his boss
quickly retorts.

'Yup,' Dave says, 'Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington .'

And off they go.

At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his
boss over, saying, Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a
meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of
coffee first and catch up.'

Well, the boss is much shaken by now but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to
Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

'The Pope,' his boss replies.

'Sure!' says Dave. 'I've known the Pope for years.'

So off they fly to Rome .

Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when Dave
says, 'This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people.



Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll
come out on the balcony with the Pope.'

He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.



Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the
balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a
heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him,

'What happened?'

His boss looks up and says,

'It was the final straw - you and the Pope came out on the balcony and
the man next to me said......















.. 'Who the fu*k's that on the balcony with Dave?'

" shocking cock-up, the mice were furious "

31-08-07, 03:39 PM #274
woody SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:2,730 Threads:43 Joined:Oct 2005 Reputation: 19
wicked!

Wishing it was like the old days again

31-08-07, 06:51 PM #275
Sneakerphile Peoples Front of Judea ******
Status: Offline Posts:2,294 Threads:47 Joined:Oct 2006 Reputation: 107
Nice one Streak, I love the Dave joke. Cracks me up everytime!Laughing

Man goes into cage. Cage goes in the salsa. Sharks in the salsa. Our shark!

01-09-07, 04:33 PM #276
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
Excellent joke!!!!!
xx

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"



03-09-07, 03:04 PM #277
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
As I lie in bed, thinking of you, I feel an urge to grab you and squeeze you, as I cannot forget last night.
It was balmy and you arrived unexpectedley. And what happened in my bed has left a tingling sensation.
You appeared from nowhere and you shamelessly lay upon my naked body. You sensed my indifference, so started to bite my body and drive me crazy.
Finally, after you had gone I managed to fall into a deep sleep.
Today when I woke the sheets bore witness to last nights events. And my body still shows the marks of your hunger, making it harder to forget you.
Tonight I will remain awake, waiting silently for you ..............................................................




















You F****** horrible mosquito, you!!!!!!!!!

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"



03-09-07, 03:23 PM #278
Effel SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,718 Threads:46 Joined:May 2006 Reputation: 14
The two attempted terrorists at glasgow airport have been formally iudentified. Bern Tmajeep and Singe maheed

Oh what a feelin! When you're dunking, on the ceilin!

03-09-07, 06:05 PM #279
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
^^ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy
Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy
Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy
Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy
Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy
Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy

Eff - I can see the pair of us getting a warning for that - you for the joke and me for finding it so funny mate
Lol
Nic
xx
Laughing

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"



06-09-07, 03:05 PM #280
AdiMac Superstar Lover *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,124 Threads:57 Joined:Sep 2006 Reputation: 16
Bloody hell.

I had a bet on the Pavarotti would live to be a 100.

Looks like I've just lost a tenor!!!

06-09-07, 03:09 PM #281
streak now an admin.. apparently *******
Status: Offline Posts:8,433 Threads:182 Joined:Jan 2006 Reputation: 188
^^ that was quick.. LaughingLaughing

" shocking cock-up, the mice were furious "

06-09-07, 04:11 PM #282
Sooper Special Lover *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,940 Threads:5 Joined:Jan 2007 Reputation: 9
Oh dear!!!!

Dance wit the speaker 'till you hear it blow - Mr Rakim

07-09-07, 03:13 PM #283
streak now an admin.. apparently *******
Status: Offline Posts:8,433 Threads:182 Joined:Jan 2006 Reputation: 188
What’s Pavarotti’s wife getting for Christmas?





a smaller turkey………



..I'll get me coat..

" shocking cock-up, the mice were furious "

07-09-07, 03:25 PM #284
Dice Oldskool Roll the Dice *****
Status: Offline Posts:182 Threads:30 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 3
They're still looking for volunteers to carry the coffin. Very Happy

I grew up to become a screw up...

08-09-07, 10:39 AM #285
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
^^That would be a punishment!!!!!!

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"








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