The following warnings occurred:
Warning [2] Undefined array key "extra" - Line: 100 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo.php 311 require_once
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "google_seo_thread" - Line: 1127 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 1 - Line: 255 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 1079 google_seo_dynamic
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/inc/class_plugins.php 38 require_once
/inc/init.php 239 pluginSystem->load
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "parent" - Line: 446 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 1143 google_seo_url_create
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/inc/class_plugins.php 38 require_once
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "pid" - Line: 1146 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $location - Line: 1249 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "lockoutexpiry" - Line: 94 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "pid" - Line: 115 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/redirect.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/redirect.php 115 errorHandler->error
/inc/class_plugins.php 142 google_seo_redirect_hook
/global.php 100 pluginSystem->run_hooks
/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined array key "action" - Line: 131 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/redirect.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/redirect.php 131 errorHandler->error
/inc/class_plugins.php 142 google_seo_redirect_hook
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/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined array key "lockoutexpiry" - Line: 568 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/global.php 568 errorHandler->error
/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined variable $username - Line: 23 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $password - Line: 25 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $redirect_url - Line: 38 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $username - Line: 58 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $user - Line: 84 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/global.php 584 eval
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 84 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined variable $code - Line: 86 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $can_access_moderationqueue - Line: 744 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "avatartype" - Line: 884 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "avatartype" - Line: 884 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $unreadreports - Line: 38 - File: global.php(951) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined variable $awaitingusers - Line: 40 - File: global.php(951) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $jumpsel - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code 5 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions.php 3007 eval
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code 5 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions.php 3007 eval
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Warning [2] Undefined property: MyLanguage::$forumjump_select - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code 5 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "mybb" - Line: 1997 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions.php 1997 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 488 - File: inc/db_mysqli.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/db_mysqli.php 488 errorHandler->error
/showthread.php 762 DB_MySQLi->fetch_field
Warning [2] Undefined property: MyLanguage::$ratings_update_error - Line: 5 - File: showthread.php(772) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/showthread.php(772) : eval()'d code 5 errorHandler->error
/showthread.php 772 eval
Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions.php 7360 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions_user.php 816 is_member
/inc/functions_post.php 416 purgespammer_show
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions_post.php 484 eval
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 762 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 800 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 56 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/plugins/thx.php 249 errorHandler->error
/inc/class_plugins.php 142 thx
/inc/functions_post.php 842 pluginSystem->run_hooks
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code 18 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions_post.php 895 eval
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions.php 7360 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions_user.php 816 is_member
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/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions_post.php 484 eval
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php 672 errorHandler->error
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php 757 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php 762 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 800 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 772 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
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/inc/class_plugins.php 142 thx
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code 18 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 317 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code 18 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 1 - Line: 866 - File: inc/class_parser.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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[PHP]   postParser->mycode_parse_post_quotes_callback1
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 1 - Line: 885 - File: inc/class_parser.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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[PHP]   postParser->mycode_parse_post_quotes_callback1
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.26 (Linux)
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#Login Register
The Joke Thread..........
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average


27-07-07, 02:26 PM #256
streak now an admin.. apparently *******
Status: Offline Posts:8,433 Threads:182 Joined:Jan 2006 Reputation: 188
Apparently, Jeremy Beadle has got a massive cock.
But on the other hand, he hasn't.




(it's the wine..I swear it's the wine...)

" shocking cock-up, the mice were furious "

27-07-07, 02:44 PM #257
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
Streak!!!!!
Thats very funny!!!!

lol
xx

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"



27-07-07, 02:54 PM #258
streak now an admin.. apparently *******
Status: Offline Posts:8,433 Threads:182 Joined:Jan 2006 Reputation: 188
^^ Don't sound so suprised miss.... Wink

" shocking cock-up, the mice were furious "

27-07-07, 03:03 PM #259
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
A man tries to fill his wilting willy by injecting it with mercury.
Trouble is in the summer it is 12 inches long and in the winter it is only 2 inches!!!!
Very HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery HappyVery Happy

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"



27-07-07, 03:08 PM #260
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
In the local hospital, a man is fed up waiting for the gents loo to become vacant so one of the nurses says that he can use the ladies on,
"As long as you don't touch any of the buttons on the wall sir!"

The man agrees and enters the ladies loo. Once he is in there and does what he has to do he notices wuite a few buttons on the wall and curiosity overcomes him. Each is identified by the letters WW, WA, PP and ATR.

The man cannot resist. First he presses the WW button and warm water shoots onto his backside. Next he presses the WA and warm air then dries his backside. He then pushes the PP button and a powder puff applies talc to his nether regions.

Feeling very papmered he then presses the ATR button and the next thing he knows is waking up in his hospital bed in sheer agony!!!

"What happened to me?" he gasps at the nurse.
"Ah" The nurse frowns, "I told you not to touch anything in the ladies loo, the ATR button is the "Automatic Tampon Remover!"

Very HappyVery HappyVery Happy

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"



27-07-07, 03:09 PM #261
Sneakerphile Peoples Front of Judea ******
Status: Offline Posts:2,294 Threads:47 Joined:Oct 2006 Reputation: 107
I walked into a restaurant the other day that had a sign in the window that said "Breaksfast served anytime", so I ordered french toast during the Renaissance.

Man goes into cage. Cage goes in the salsa. Sharks in the salsa. Our shark!

27-07-07, 03:26 PM #262
Sneakerphile Peoples Front of Judea ******
Status: Offline Posts:2,294 Threads:47 Joined:Oct 2006 Reputation: 107
I was staying in a hotel recently and a friend of mine came over. He wanted to use the phone in my room, and he askes me "Do I have to dial 9" and I said "Yeah, especially if it's in the number"

Man goes into cage. Cage goes in the salsa. Sharks in the salsa. Our shark!

27-07-07, 05:54 PM #263
Sooper Special Lover *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,940 Threads:5 Joined:Jan 2007 Reputation: 9
camnic1972 Wrote:In the local hospital, a man is fed up waiting for the gents loo to become vacant so one of the nurses says that he can use the ladies on,
"As long as you don't touch any of the buttons on the wall sir!"

The man agrees and enters the ladies loo. Once he is in there and does what he has to do he notices wuite a few buttons on the wall and curiosity overcomes him. Each is identified by the letters WW, WA, PP and ATR.

The man cannot resist. First he presses the WW button and warm water shoots onto his backside. Next he presses the WA and warm air then dries his backside. He then pushes the PP button and a powder puff applies talc to his nether regions.

Feeling very papmered he then presses the ATR button and the next thing he knows is waking up in his hospital bed in sheer agony!!!

"What happened to me?" he gasps at the nurse.
"Ah" The nurse frowns, "I told you not to touch anything in the ladies loo, the ATR button is the "Automatic Tampon Remover!"

Very HappyVery HappyVery Happy

Bloody hell that was around when i was at junior school! Very Happy

Dance wit the speaker 'till you hear it blow - Mr Rakim

27-07-07, 05:55 PM #264
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
I know - its an oldie - but a goodie!!!

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"



31-07-07, 02:16 AM #265
deftoned Stripes Junkie *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,243 Threads:20 Joined:Mar 2007 Reputation: 11
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of Champagne, too!"
"What a coincidence," the farmer says, "This is a special day for me, and I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!" says the woman.
"What a coincidence!" says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my Gynaecologist told me that I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man, "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I used a different cock," he replied.
The woman smiled and said, "what a coincidence. . .'

the boy with the three stripes

31-07-07, 02:16 AM #266
deftoned Stripes Junkie *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,243 Threads:20 Joined:Mar 2007 Reputation: 11
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hairdryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father."
Next Please.

the boy with the three stripes

17-08-07, 09:39 AM #267
streak now an admin.. apparently *******
Status: Offline Posts:8,433 Threads:182 Joined:Jan 2006 Reputation: 188
A dwarf with a speech impediment goes into a stud farm.


"I'd like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm.

"What sort of horse?" said the owner.

"A female horth" the dwarf replies.

So the owner shows him a mare. "Nithe horth." says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyeth?"

So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes. "Nithe eyeth.", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her teeth?"

Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth. "Nithe teeth.... can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says.

By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears.

"Nithe eerth." he says. "Now...can I see her twot?"

With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep inside the horse's vagina. He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.

The dwarf shakes his head and says: "Perhaps I should weefwaze that... Can I see her wun awound?"

" shocking cock-up, the mice were furious "

17-08-07, 09:57 AM #268
mr.pure Cold Blooded Murderator. *******
Status: Offline Posts:15,775 Threads:176 Joined:Sep 2005 Reputation: 257
Very tempted to give you a warning !



17-08-07, 07:10 PM #269
camnic1972 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,497 Threads:36 Joined:May 2007 Reputation: 16
Oh please don't - that was funny
lol
xx

"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"



17-08-07, 07:57 PM #270
the_marsbar SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,014 Threads:66 Joined:Mar 2007 Reputation: 16
What was he trying to say with "twot"?






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