at the risk of being left hanging...
Knock Knock!
Knock Knock!
The Joke Thread..........
24-01-12, 07:52 PM
#542
I'll bite . . .
Who's there?
Who's there?
I don't wear Crocs, and I don't wear sandals/The pump don't work 'cause the vandals took the handles . . .
24-01-12, 07:57 PM
#546
very poor . . .
I don't wear Crocs, and I don't wear sandals/The pump don't work 'cause the vandals took the handles . . .
24-01-12, 08:07 PM
#548
My six year old is currently rolling round his room in laughter.
"Aneedup" and "Smelleep" also work well.
"Aneedup" and "Smelleep" also work well.
I don't wear Crocs, and I don't wear sandals/The pump don't work 'cause the vandals took the handles . . .
24-01-12, 08:08 PM
#549
Ok so a man walks into a doctor's...
Blood, veins, arteries and organs dripping from where his anus used to be, now a gaping hole.
"Jesus Christ" says the Dr, "what the fuck happened to you?"
"Well Dr.." the mans says perching delicately on on the edge of the seat, "I went on a blind date..."
"yes??" says the Dr.
" with.... er an elephant" says the man
" sweet baby Jesus man!!" says the Dr, "and you had intercourse???"
"Yes" said the man
"woah!!!" says the Dr "wait a second, there is no way that having sexual intercourse with an elephant could do that sort of damage??"
"No Dr... He fingered me first Dr...
"
...
Blood, veins, arteries and organs dripping from where his anus used to be, now a gaping hole.
"Jesus Christ" says the Dr, "what the fuck happened to you?"
"Well Dr.." the mans says perching delicately on on the edge of the seat, "I went on a blind date..."
"yes??" says the Dr.
" with.... er an elephant" says the man
" sweet baby Jesus man!!" says the Dr, "and you had intercourse???"
"Yes" said the man
"woah!!!" says the Dr "wait a second, there is no way that having sexual intercourse with an elephant could do that sort of damage??"
"No Dr... He fingered me first Dr...
"...
25-01-12, 06:33 AM
#552
A guy walks into a bar at the top floor of large skyscraper and asks for a pint. He drinks up and asks for another one. After quite a lot of drinks he walks over to a table where there are two men sitting, talking and drinking. "I'll bet you guys 5000 bucks I can jump out that window and land safely on street below!"
The two men look at each other then agree to accept the bet. So the drunk walks to the window and jumps out. The two men can hardly believe their own eyes when they see him land safely on the street and again enter the building. "How the HELL did you do it?!" they ask in amazement when he enters the bar again.
"Well, you see." the drunk replies. "There is this ventilation shaft straight below this window, and the stream of air is so strong, it slows you down enough to land safely on the grid. Why don't you try it yourselves? I'll bet you guys another 5,000 bucks each says you can't do it!"
So, both the men put their money on the bar, hurry to the window and jump out, facing certain death as they hit the street at high speed.
At this point, the bartender walks up to the drunk and says:
"You know what, Superman? You can be a REAL DICK when you're drunk!"
The two men look at each other then agree to accept the bet. So the drunk walks to the window and jumps out. The two men can hardly believe their own eyes when they see him land safely on the street and again enter the building. "How the HELL did you do it?!" they ask in amazement when he enters the bar again.
"Well, you see." the drunk replies. "There is this ventilation shaft straight below this window, and the stream of air is so strong, it slows you down enough to land safely on the grid. Why don't you try it yourselves? I'll bet you guys another 5,000 bucks each says you can't do it!"
So, both the men put their money on the bar, hurry to the window and jump out, facing certain death as they hit the street at high speed.
At this point, the bartender walks up to the drunk and says:
"You know what, Superman? You can be a REAL DICK when you're drunk!"
25-01-12, 04:05 PM
#553
Someone call an ambulance please. That joke is so old it fell down and had a coronary after being dragged over here!!! 
Man goes into cage. Cage goes in the salsa. Sharks in the salsa. Our shark!
25-01-12, 06:45 PM
#554
^^^^^^^^^
If you have £5 and Chuck Norris has £5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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