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A crusty old bloke is out for a walk. He sees a burger van, so hepops over to have a look. Now on themenu there are three things; Burger, Cheeseburger and a handjob. After browsing, he asks the fittest,loveliest womman in the van 'Are you the one that does the handjobs?', 'Yes' she purred, 'Well dont wash your hands, i want a cheeseburger...'
Oh what a feelin! When you're dunking, on the ceilin!
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Minging!!!!!!!!
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
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In a restaurant, a gentleman asks a waiter to take a bottle of wine to an attractive woman dining alone.
The woman regards the wine cooly for a second then sends a note over to the gentleman, which says,
"For me to accept this bottle of wine, you must have a mercedes in your garage, £1 million in your bank account, and seven inches in your pants!"
The man composes a note in return saying,
"I have a Ferrari, a BMW and a Porsche in my garage, I have over £20 million in my bank account. But! - not even for a woman as beautiful as you - would I be prepared to cut off 3 inches!!!!!! Send the wine back!!!!!"
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
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A wife asks her husband where he wants to go on holiday this year,
"Somewhere different love"
So she replies,
"What about the kitchen!!!!"
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
(This post was last modified: 19-07-07, 06:26 PM by
camnic1972.)
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Whats the difference between sin and shame?
Its a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out!!!!
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Apparently, Jeremy Beadle has got a massive cock.
But on the other hand, he hasn't.
(it's the wine..I swear it's the wine...)
" shocking cock-up, the mice were furious "
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Streak!!!!!
Thats very funny!!!!
lol
xx
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
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^^ Don't sound so suprised miss....
" shocking cock-up, the mice were furious "
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"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
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In the local hospital, a man is fed up waiting for the gents loo to become vacant so one of the nurses says that he can use the ladies on,
"As long as you don't touch any of the buttons on the wall sir!"
The man agrees and enters the ladies loo. Once he is in there and does what he has to do he notices wuite a few buttons on the wall and curiosity overcomes him. Each is identified by the letters WW, WA, PP and ATR.
The man cannot resist. First he presses the WW button and warm water shoots onto his backside. Next he presses the WA and warm air then dries his backside. He then pushes the PP button and a powder puff applies talc to his nether regions.
Feeling very papmered he then presses the ATR button and the next thing he knows is waking up in his hospital bed in sheer agony!!!
"What happened to me?" he gasps at the nurse.
"Ah" The nurse frowns, "I told you not to touch anything in the ladies loo, the ATR button is the "Automatic Tampon Remover!"
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
