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A bloke walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
“You must face the power of the black wave of Lardossa before you become a Drexciyan wave jumperâ€
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Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
“You must face the power of the black wave of Lardossa before you become a Drexciyan wave jumperâ€
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mr.pure Wrote:Nice work people, heard the Lone Ranger one years ago.
Bit of topic but does anyone know where I can get a piecost ?
... what's a piecost?
... about $2
Oh, sorry, did I ruin that one for you??
the boy with the three stripes
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ha ha!!
Punchline ruined Mr.P!
Some Funny ones there! I love jokes but can never remember them!
Dance wit the speaker 'till you hear it blow - Mr Rakim
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mr.pure Wrote:Snot bloody funny, shithead.
No - snot's green!!!!
lol
nic
xx
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
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Paddy goes into a pet shop and asks for a goldfish,
"Would you like an aquarium?" Asks the helpful asisstant,
Paddy replies,
"I don't give a shit what star sign it is!!!"
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
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This is rude!!!!
A recent survey asked various women if their cunt twitched after sex - 98% said no - he just lies there scratching his balls!!!
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
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Two dwarfs pull two girls and take them home. The first dwarf cant get it up and to make things worse, all night he can here the second dwarf saying "Here I come again ...... 1, 2, 3 uuh"
The next morning the first dwarf says to the second,
"How embarrassing, I couldn't even get an erection last night"
The second dwarf replies,
"You think thats bad - I couldn't even get on the fucking bed!!!!!"
"IF THE SHOE FITS - BUY IT IN EVERY COLOUR!!!!!"
