The following warnings occurred:
Warning [2] Undefined array key "extra" - Line: 100 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo.php 311 require_once
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "google_seo_thread" - Line: 1127 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 1 - Line: 255 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 1079 google_seo_dynamic
/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 1127 google_seo_url_dynamic
/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 173 google_seo_url_hook
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/inc/class_plugins.php 38 require_once
/inc/init.php 239 pluginSystem->load
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "parent" - Line: 446 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 1143 google_seo_url_create
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/inc/plugins/google_seo.php 311 require_once
/inc/class_plugins.php 38 require_once
/inc/init.php 239 pluginSystem->load
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $location - Line: 1249 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 1249 errorHandler->error
/inc/plugins/google_seo/url.php 173 google_seo_url_hook
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/inc/class_plugins.php 38 require_once
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "lockoutexpiry" - Line: 94 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 192 - File: inc/plugins/google_seo.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/inc/plugins/google_seo/redirect.php 117 google_seo_tid
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "lockoutexpiry" - Line: 568 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/global.php 568 errorHandler->error
/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined variable $username - Line: 23 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined variable $password - Line: 25 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/global.php(584) : eval()'d code 25 errorHandler->error
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/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined variable $redirect_url - Line: 38 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/global.php(584) : eval()'d code 38 errorHandler->error
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/showthread.php 28 require_once
Warning [2] Undefined variable $username - Line: 58 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $user - Line: 84 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 84 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $code - Line: 86 - File: global.php(584) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $can_access_moderationqueue - Line: 744 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "avatartype" - Line: 884 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "avatartype" - Line: 884 - File: global.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $unreadreports - Line: 38 - File: global.php(951) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $awaitingusers - Line: 40 - File: global.php(951) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined variable $jumpsel - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code 5 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code 5 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined property: MyLanguage::$forumjump_select - Line: 5 - File: inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions.php(3007) : eval()'d code 5 errorHandler->error
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/showthread.php 661 build_forum_jump
Warning [2] Undefined array key "mybb" - Line: 1997 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/inc/functions.php 1997 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions_indicators.php 41 my_set_array_cookie
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Warning [2] Trying to access array offset on value of type null - Line: 488 - File: inc/db_mysqli.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined property: MyLanguage::$ratings_update_error - Line: 5 - File: showthread.php(772) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/showthread.php 772 eval
Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions_post.php 484 eval
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php 672 errorHandler->error
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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/inc/functions_post.php 757 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 762 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 800 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 2082 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/plugins/thx.php 249 errorHandler->error
/inc/class_plugins.php 142 thx
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code 18 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
/inc/functions_post.php 484 eval
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 672 errorHandler->error
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 757 errorHandler->error
/showthread.php 1124 build_postbit
Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 762 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php 800 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 741 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/plugins/thx.php 249 errorHandler->error
/inc/class_plugins.php 142 thx
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code 18 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 2009 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 96 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 1057 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
/inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code 8 errorHandler->error
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "canonlyreplyownthreads" - Line: 672 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 757 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 2463 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
File Line Function
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key 936 - Line: 249 - File: inc/plugins/thx.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "profilefield" - Line: 8 - File: inc/functions_post.php(484) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showvideos" - Line: 762 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "showimages" - Line: 800 - File: inc/functions_post.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "posttime" - Line: 18 - File: inc/functions_post.php(895) : eval()'d code PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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Warning [2] Undefined array key "additionalgroups" - Line: 7360 - File: inc/functions.php PHP 8.2.25 (Linux)
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#Login Register
The Joke Thread..........
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average


28-05-10, 12:58 AM #376
Shellshock Superstar Duck Hunter *****
Status: Offline Posts:2,768 Threads:11 Joined:Oct 2008 Reputation: 197
(27-05-10, 04:36 PM)Big J Wrote:  My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, she said she thought I was a paedophile. Pretty big word for an 8 year old...

Say what you want about peados but at least they drive slowly past schools....
I can still remember play time at school. A bit of footy, sneaking a quick ciggy and trying to finger girls behind the bike sheds.

I fucking loved that caretakers job..

Whats the difference between 'Bride' and 'Groom' ?

You can't bride schoolchildren

Supe like Wanton, Buju like Banton

28-05-10, 06:28 AM #377
cracky SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:4,518 Threads:31 Joined:Apr 2007 Reputation: 83
Your going to hell big fella Laughing Laughing Laughing

all day i dream and shine.

28-05-10, 01:39 PM #378
DasBill El fuego! *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,322 Threads:8 Joined:Sep 2008 Reputation: 16
I've had the worst year.

First I had to dump a quality girlfriend because she put on two stone.

Now she's asking for child maintenance.

Very Happy

My friends call me Hadouken! Cause im down, right, fierce!

02-06-10, 12:22 PM #379
pokey27 also known as Pojey *****
Status: Offline Posts:5,478 Threads:79 Joined:May 2006 Reputation: 303
A guy I know has split up with his wife.

She left the marital home, taking with her his whole collection of Bob Marley records and the satellite dish.

Poor sod ... no woman, no Sky! Very Happy

It's not the size of the feet!!it's the amount of quality on em

02-06-10, 01:24 PM #380
Sweet_Kicks adidas *****
Status: Offline Posts:2,553 Threads:19 Joined:Oct 2007 Reputation: 329
Pokey, thats terrible Laughing

If you have £5 and Chuck Norris has £5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

02-06-10, 06:16 PM #381
Poor Sod SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:1,432 Threads:32 Joined:Aug 2009 Reputation: 88
Did someone mention my name? scratch

Favourite SSDB quote:
I would wear them and grab people in the street and say "look how fucking sweet these kicks are!" (Sneakerphile)
Poor Sod's Photography
IG: @70jeppe
UK9

02-06-10, 06:31 PM #382
flyingcod Shell-toed Lover *****
Status: Offline Posts:3,431 Threads:63 Joined:Sep 2007 Reputation: 171
A man walks upto a woman in a bar & whispers in her ear: "I want to fill your clunge up with stella & drink it all."
The woman goes over & tells her husband "Aren't you gonna go over & kick the shit out of him"?

"NAH he replys I'm not fighting any f*cker that can drink 25pints of Stella!!!"

fc

'All sins tend to be addictive and the terminal point of addiction is damnation.' - W H Auden





03-06-10, 12:00 AM #383
Shellshock Superstar Duck Hunter *****
Status: Offline Posts:2,768 Threads:11 Joined:Oct 2008 Reputation: 197
(02-06-10, 06:31 PM)flyingcod Wrote:  clunge

I love you fc Wink

You just dont hear that word enough in my opinion, although lately it has been unsurped by "clopper" as in "A great big hairy clopper. I put my hand down her knickers and it felt like I was feeding a horse a handful of oats"

Supe like Wanton, Buju like Banton

03-06-10, 09:54 AM #384
ez-1 SSDB Member *****
Status: Offline Posts:4,764 Threads:25 Joined:Oct 2007 Reputation: 362
I love you both Wink
What a nice way to widen my vocabulary Laughing

03-06-10, 10:09 AM #385
Big J Always minds the cairds... *****
Status: Offline Posts:3,000 Threads:24 Joined:Oct 2007 Reputation: 78
I use the word 'clunge' quite a lot, never tire of hearing it. Seems to offend people less than minge.

Or cunt.

It was fuckin' obvious that that cunt was gonnae fuck some cunt.

03-06-10, 03:24 PM #386
citysupes Senior Member ****
Status: Offline Posts:723 Threads:3 Joined:May 2010 Reputation: 28
you know, kicks are like your children....





the hardest thing is choosing your favorite! Very Happy

'I paid for the suede!'

03-06-10, 04:26 PM #387
Sweet_Kicks adidas *****
Status: Offline Posts:2,553 Threads:19 Joined:Oct 2007 Reputation: 329
Thats worst than Pokeys Laughing

If you have £5 and Chuck Norris has £5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

03-06-10, 04:33 PM #388
Samo Just call me Nik Nak.. *****
Status: Offline Posts:5,906 Threads:57 Joined:Jan 2008 Reputation: 216
That made me laugh, but not because it was a funny joke:p

"SSDB does not condone or promote wack behaviour"

03-06-10, 04:35 PM #389
pokey27 also known as Pojey *****
Status: Offline Posts:5,478 Threads:79 Joined:May 2006 Reputation: 303
Got knocked down by a Hire car Today

It fooking hertz!!
Laughing

OH YES THERE'S MORE!!!!
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her
right away.
She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.'
He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go
along.'

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at
a very nice resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his
towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck,
followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he
straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, 'That was incredible!'
He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you
we'd learn more about each other as we went along.'

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths.

After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her
towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?'
'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides
of the Mersey

GO ON THEM 1 MORE JUST FOR SWEET-KICKS
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.



He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter,

"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, considering that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4.. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,

"No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
And a sick one for shellshock Wink

A man is having problems getting it up in sex as he is losing the urge. He goes to a doctor to assess the problem and the doctor tells him, "All you need is to remember the smell of a girl's pussy!" So that night while in bed with his sleeping wife, the man quietly fingers his wife's vagina and brings his moist fingers to his nose. He's beginning to feel the urge again so he whispers to his wife, "Honey, I've got something for you..."

She wakes up and turns to him and says, "Why did you wake me up just to tell me you have a nosebleed?!"

It's not the size of the feet!!it's the amount of quality on em

03-06-10, 04:53 PM #390
Sweet_Kicks adidas *****
Status: Offline Posts:2,553 Threads:19 Joined:Oct 2007 Reputation: 329
[/shakes head]


:p

If you have £5 and Chuck Norris has £5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.






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